If you google “is it OK to slurp my noodles?” you are more than likely to get a resounding YES – the louder the better ! When we are out to dinner, we often joke about the slurping of noodles, great big blobs of sauce on the table cloth and (my personal favourite) leaving a pile of chewed chicken bones on the table and say that it’s a sign that you enjoyed your meal. However, of course, I wouldn’t feel so happy if people were dropping their bones on my dining table no matter how much they enjoyed it! It makes me think about food etiquette, there seems to be so many rules around how to eat, where to leave your chopsticks, where to put your elbows, etc, that I thought it might be interesting to look further into this, from an Asian perspective.
All cultures have their own etiquette, from whether the Queen puts the cream or the jam on her scone first (big issue for “The Crown” viewers) to making sure you use the right hand (literally) in India to eat your rice. And it is impossible to put all of Asia in one box here – think of the Thai restaurants that don’t lay the table with chopsticks but forks and spoons, or no implements at all in Sri Lanka where you just use your hands.
Having grown up in New Zealand, my friends were all lovely Kiwis, and when I went to their houses for sleepovers, dinners etc, it was pretty normal Kiwi fare (pavlovas, hangis, lots of lamb, glasses of L&P and hokey pokey ice cream, that sort of thing 😂😂😂!) but when they came to my house there was much excitement over the use of chopsticks, the fun that was had by stabbing one chopstick into a piece of food and slurping of noodles, of course, was like an adventure playground for them. (This is in the 1970s, can I just say). My father would tisk tisk them and try to instruct them on the right way to use chopsticks, but in the end my mother won out – she would say “just pick up your bowl and scoop the food into your mouth!”. Which sounds a bit crazy and not that polite, but when looking into Chinese etiquette, this is totally acceptable as opposed to the one chopstick stabbing that was going on! And I admit that this is how I eat most of my Asian meals.
Of course there is a formal etiquette in China – the eldest or “most respected” guest to sit down first at the table, facing east being the best spot and to get first dibs on the meal. It went around the table in pecking order and the least favourable spot being closest to the service/kitchen door. As with most meals, tea is nearly always served before and at the meal. It is common for a guest to tap the table twice with his fingers to get a refill of his cup. Further research on this is the story that it heralds from the Qing Dynasty (approximately 1600-1900) when the Emperor was travelling through his empire in disguise with his servants. They stopped for tea and the Emperor served his servant tea. The servant wanted to bow as you would in front of the Emperor, but he could not because they were in disguise. So he simply tapped his bent fingers on the table to symbolise him kneeling to him. I love these stories.
I know that most of us have our main dishes set on the table and it is shared between everyone. In China there is usually one or two main courses accompanied by vegetables and rice or noodles. The food is prepared in small bite sized pieces so that they can be easily picked up by chopsticks. I guess there is some contention to this – especially at the moment with Covid etc, the sharing of your used chopsticks in the serving dishes is likely frowned upon in most places. In some restaurants you will find a pair of serving chopsticks, but in my house or when we were at cousins’ houses, it was all in with your own pair.
One other thing, before I go on, is something that I notice hasn’t been adopted at our dinner table. Maybe it’s the love of the rice and noodles, but in general, the rice/noodles are served in small bowls and the food is placed on top with the sauce. A small amount of rice is eaten with each bite of the dish and then more of the main course is added to the bowl. Therefore your small bowl is never overloaded and the rice/noodles is used to mop up all the juices/sauce etc. I am sure you always wondered why the bowls were so small!
Other etiquette to remember with regards to the chopsticks :
- Do not spear your food with your chopsticks
- Do not pick your teeth or bang your bowl with chopsticks
- Do not chew your chopsticks or wave your chopsticks around
- When finished you should leave your chopsticks lying across the top of the bowl and not left sticking out of the bowl
Enough rules?!! There are more if you like ….
You might also notice at restaurants that each guest has their own small dish for condiments such as soya sauce, chilli etc. This allows each morsel of food to be seasoned as required.
Oh my lord I have opened a can of worms. I think I will continue this issue – from my own point of view and my family history, it is so interesting. Unfortunately I never have or never will be the “most respected” guest and am destined for the kiddy table which I think is a universally accepted place for the unruly and loud with few manners! Stay tuned, but until then, a short clip on chopsticks!
